Being Sick

Being Sick is just horrible. Ask my wife, I hate being sick. Not only cannot I not do the things I want to do, I feel horrible while trying to do anything. I am a big baby when it comes to being sick. I whine a lot! I guess it's in my nature. When I was a kid, the more whining I did, the more stuff and attention I got from Mom and Dad. I guess it's still the kid in me whining. Anyways, Michele has been awesome this week. She has yelled at me for getting things for myself. I tell her I am sick of lying in bed and need to get up and move around.

So today I am at work after being off the last few days. I am still not back to 100% but feel better today than I have been. I am more dizzy today than anything. My head feels like it is going to float away. Like I said I am big whiner when I am sick. I am trying to get thru today but we will see how it goes. I am not sure if it is my medicine or just the sickness making me feel this way. Oh well, I know soon I'll be better. Good news from this I am down to smoking only 10 *1/2 cigarettes a day. So its like only smoking 5 a day. It chokes me to even light one up lately. I am hoping I can keep up with this so I can quit soon. That would be awesome.

I did mention to the doctor on Monday, that I have been sick like this 6 times since June. I had been to the doctor 4 times and to the ER 2 times. The doctor didn't seem too concerned about it at this time. I keep thinking, either she is not concerned because I smoke, the fact I get better with each dose of antibiotics, or she's a quack. I am starting to get concerned tho. One of the medications she had me on, singulair(sp?), has a side effect of upper respiratory infections and 2 of them that were back to back was during the time I was taking the allergy medicine. I stopped taking it and it my upper respiratory problems seemed to disappear until recently. I didn't have any problems for about 2 solid months. My concern is why I keep having these. Hopefully this dose of antibiotics will get rid of what ever it is that keeps causing it. If this doesn't do it, I will definitely ask to be referred to an allergist to diagnose it that way. I don't know. I am not a doctor, but it seem s to me that you would want to diagnose the cause of the symptoms and not just the symptoms.

I know what does this have to do with anything. I don't know, I just know I like to whine when I am sick.

So that's it, now you know.

Thanks

Richard

A Prayer for Jeff

I usually don't talk about 1 person or people in general. Jeff however is one worth speaking about.

Back when I first met Jeff, He was special to my son. My son clinged to Jeff, like an older brother. I always thought that is was nice that Jeff purposely picked Brandon's name out of a drawing 3 years ago at Trunk O' Treat. Brandon still remembers that day like it was yesterday.

As I got to know Jeff, things were weird. Since Jeff and I process information and thoughts almost identically, it was hard to get to know him on a deeper level. Jeff is always focused on leadership and loving God. I had seemed to take it as something more stand-offish. I had a hard time understanding anything that man did. In fact I was so mad at him for a while, I didn't go to church. Sounds silly, don't it. Anyways...

As time went on and my heart really started changing, my eyes opened to the bigger picture. Once I could see the bigger picture, I didn't see Jeff the same way anymore. I saw Jeff as a Leader of God's Plan. Jeff was doing things, I wish I could do. So in a sense I guess, I was jealous. No let's just admit it and say Yes I was jealous. I was jealous that Jeff had it more together. I was jealous that he had more than I did. Along with other things, I was over all jealous.

I see Jeff differently now days. Jeff has inspired me with his love of God. I am thankful that Jeff is leading our church the way he does. He is always focused, or at least he seems to be always focused. Jeff has a big heart and South Korea is lucky to have Jeff for 3 months.

It kinda seems my thoughts are kinda jumbled, well it's because they are. I am fighting bronchitis and the meds are making me weirder than usual.

Ok so back to Jeff. My relationship with Jeff has always been like a roller coaster. Up and Down, loops and dips and cork screws. You get the idea. Until recently, I guess I just didn't get it. I didn't understand a lot of things that Jeff would do. I still don't understand a lot of things, but now I look at it as Jeff has his heart in the right place and in the long run it will turn out like it is supposed to. I know that Jeff has the bigger picture and even though I may not see it right away, it is usually correct. Recently since my heart has been more open to alot of things, I too can see the big picture. Maybe not as clear but I have a lot better understanding of what it is.

Jeff is getting ready to leave for South Korea. He is going to help lead in worship in a church that has English speaking congregation. I will miss Jeff as he goes to minister across the globe. I know he is returning (he better LOL), but he will truly be missed while he is gone. I have been thinking and praying a lot lately about Jeff. I thought I might share a prayer for Jeff.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for Jeff.
Thank you for speaking to him and guiding him.
Thank you for allowing him to share your love with us.
Thank you for allowing him to lead us in worship.
Thank you for showing your wisdom to him.
Thank you for the blessings you have given him.
Thank you for allowing him to share those blessings with other.
God we just want to lift Jeff up to you.
He is getting ready to embark on a journey far away from home.
Keep your hand on him and protect him.
Keep him safe until he returns back to us.
We ask that you bring him back to us to continue sharing your wisdom with us.
Lord this is your will and not ours. Let your will be done.
If for some reason Lord you decide to take Jeff home to you,
Thank your for the time you have given us to spend with Jeff.
Thank you for allowing Jeff to be a blessing in the lives Jeff has touched.
If for some reason Jeff becomes homesick,
Remind him of your love and the love of his family at home.
Keep your loving arms around him.
Keep his heart warm with your love.
Allow yourself to be shown through Jeff as he leads others in worship to You.
Allows others to blessed that way we have been blessed by Jeff.
Allow others to learn your wisdom through his leadership.
Thank you for being the God of impossibilities.
Thank you for being our Father.
Keep Jeff safe.
In Your name we pray,
Amen.

So that is the prayer I have for Jeff. I know Jeff will be missed. I hope Jeff knows that none of us really want him to leave because we love him so much, but know that this is God's will and pray for his safe return.

Thanks
Richard

Prayer

You know, For a long time I considered prayer to be, umm.... well not worth my time. I never really saw any results of my prayer in the past.

Over the last several months, I have had a change of heart.

I wish I could remember where it is, but God said to pray and to believe that you will receive. We can all pray and "believe" but deep down or even in the back of your mind if there is any doubt about what you are praying about, then you are not truly believing. Believing doesn't mean, you hope it will happen and in the back of your mind, there's no way this will happen, or this is too far of a stretch, or I don't deserve it, etc... All of these show that our Faith in our Prayers is not strong enough and that our Faith and Trust is God is Failing.

I don't doubt that you believe you love God. But our Trust and Faith are more determined by our actions and thought process. If you trust God to do certain things in your life but not others, you are selling yourself short of what a "God of Impossibilities" can do. God created the Earth and the Universe. If God can do these things, then why would He not be able to take of your simplest to the most complicated needs.

My heart lately has really just desired to listen to God. I think sometimes we need to just shut up and listen to God. He speaks to us in His creation, His word and sometimes He redirects our thinking to listening to Truths known by what we have learned in our past.

****Romans 8:26-27****

26 In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;
27 and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

I Love verse 26. God tells us We don't know how to pray as we should. And God provides the Holy Spirit to Pray for Us. The Spirit GROANS too deep for words. That is my favorite part of the verse, GROANS TOO DEEP FOR WORDS. That just confirms the Awesomeness God IS! God prays for us! Of course we still have to pray, God wants us to communicate with him, but the Spirit takes our prayers to God and Prays for us in the way should be praying. God provides that connection. It is just so awesome to see how God just continues to Bless us in ways we never knew.

The more glimpses I get from the Bible, The more I want to know about God and his Awesomeness. There is a confidence that comes from knowing God's word. Our relationship with God grows as we listen and read. His word leads us closer to Him or corrects us or gives us another Promise of His Love for us.

I know it has been a long time since I have posted, but now that I have figured out a way to post from my e-mail I hope to be posting more often.

Thanks for reading

God Bless you and your Families

Richard