Learning Everyday

With all the blogging out there, I figured as much to blog also.

My mind works a little differently than a lot of others I know. HOW? you may ask? Well, that’s hard to explain but I will try. Maybe after reading this, you will say, hey… you think just like me.

With everything going on in my life, some days it’s easier to make right choices than others. The days with more wrong choices seems to lead to dissapointment in myself and mild depression. Now usually, I can work myself out of it by the next day, sometimes it doesn’t happen though. I like to put my self in a vicious cycle that continues to allow myself to spiral downward. Upon realization I can pull my self back up with God’s help. I often question why I do the things I do that does not please God. I also wander how God percieves me. Along with this, I usually try to analyze what some people, that I look up to, would say if they only knew.

I know I have to remember that everyone makes mistakes, but its so easy to look at others and just say, “They have it all together”, or “I really admire how they trust/worship God.”

Knowing this, I just ask God to tell me what I need to do. Whenever I look at others who “have it together”, I wander if what I am doing for God, is enough. I often wander if those that I look upto recognize the work I do. I also wander if they ever think I am good enough to take on more responsibilities. I also wander, what must I do to get to do certain things? Why am I not asked to be someone who can lead? God can only answer that for me. I know God uses me everyday in ways I never see or imagine. Am I truly doing everything I can for God? Probably not. What else do I need to do to feel more worthy of God? Sometimes its overwhelming to be everything to God and give Him everything in my Life, including all of ME. The expectations are so high that they almost seem out of reach. I do believe one day I will get there. I have to be patient, ask, read, and most of all just LISTEN. I remember a little poem or story where a guy who was fed up with life quit everything. Before committing suicide, he asked God one more time what he was missing. God replied that the man was like a Bamboo seedling, it remains a seedling for years before bursting up out of the ground and being comparable in size to the other Big Trees in the forest. God had to remind him that he loves us all the same but some people will stay a small seedling for years and then one day, burst at the seems and become complete in God’s glory. When the man realized he needed to be patient, he returned home and continued to grow with God and wait for God to show him when he was ready to burst forth.

It is intereseting, I can’t remember this all the time. It is all beyond me. Maybe its just God’s adversary, the devil, sneaking in and putting doubt in my mind. Yeah, I am sure it’s the devil’s fault.

I also keep waitng for the day when I think God has given me all I could ask for. Then I stop and think, maybe this is what God has planned for me. I also have to remember that this life is only temporary and NOT permanent. All I know is that I keep asking Him to show me. I know that God is working on me everyday and somedays, I wish it were more. I know God is working with me a little bit each time I stop to listen. Maybe I should stop and listen more often. With everything going on in the World, it is so easy to get wrapped up in worldly things. I know that God is working on me to recognize the worldly things and He is showing me what He does not approve of.

I know everything above might sound kinda depressing, but really its a lot of realization on my part of what God is taking me from and bringing me to. God has shown his mercy so many times, but when life has you down, it is so hard to remember those blessings. I am thankful for my friends at WLBC that they continue to show Love and remind me of my blessings.

I remember the time I asked Christ in my heart, repented of my sins, believed He was the only one who could bring me to God and the only way I would see him face to face in Heaven one day. I remember it like it was yesterday, the feeling of all the burdens had be released and taken from me. I remember how it felt to be God’s child for the first time. I remember that God started working with me on that first day. I remember the excitement of confessing that I believed in God and how awesome it was to be part of God’s family now. I also remember as a young child, my attention span did not last long. It really wasn’t til about 2 1/2 years ago that I began my walk with Christ again. For a long time, I said I belived but never trully lived it. In that couple of years, I have learned so much at WLBC. I have been watching God’s people work the way God and Jesus worked. They continue to love me despite the stupid things I do from time to time. They continue to show me the what God’s word says how to live. They continue to be a very important role in my life as I continue my journey with Christ. What probably makes me the most angry, is that I allow the devil to tarnish those blessings and puts doubt and hate in my heart. I am so thankful that I have learned how not to let that affect me for a very long time. Forgiving becomes easier with God’s love and guidence. Forgetting comes easier with God also. I am where I am today because I have not let God work completely in my life and also I am where I am today because I have let God work in my life. With God showing me where I have come from and where I am now, He reminds me that His hand is on my heart, mind and soul everyday.

The other day we (Sunday School Class) were discussing how 80%+ of Americans believe in God but how so many of those are not going to make it to Heaven. Getting to Heaven is not a one time prayer. It is a life of prayers and building the relationship with Christ and God. It is walking in His ways and moving away from sin. It is a continuous journey that never ends. Jesus points out in the New Testament (sorry cant remember the exact passage) that it is easy to travel the broad road that leads to darkness and there is One narrow path that leads to a narrow gate where Jesus will welcome us Home.

It is frightening to say that on the day of judgement, we all will see God’s Wrath and Glory! Personally I am shooting for Glory and Mercy. What path are you walking? What will be God’s judgement on you? Through all of this I have learned that Fearing God and trusting Him is the only way to get to Heaven. Step by Step God will lead us to his side. And yes God is still working on me. He’s got His work cut out for Him, but I trust Him and Believe He will guide me into His arms of Love and Forgiveness.

With all of that said….I keep learing how to focus on Him more and more each day.

In Christ’s Love

WLBC Webmaster

Learning Everyday!