Spinning out of Control

Spinning out of control....

Do you ever feel like your life is spinning out of control? Dumb question huh? Of course you have, if you haven't you're probably not human. The point to all of this is....

This week has been a hard week. If the devil really knows how to kick us down more at our weakest points then he is doing an amazing job right now. The past few weeks our car has been having issues with the clutch. I called a repair shop and they wanted $442 to fix it. Anyone that knows how much money I make will know that is not something we can fit into our budget within a few weeks. That kind of money would take several months to raise. So we decided that if we were going to spend that much money on this car, why not invest it into a down payment for another car. We went looking at cars and it was disappointing to find that apparently $300 or $500 is enough for a down payment. What is the purpose of financing if you have to have that much down? Whatever! So then we changed gears again and went back to just coming up with the money to fix the car. Ok no biggie right?
Today I took the car to church because I had to be there an hour earlier than Michele. I was invited to be part of the praise team this morning and didn't want to miss practice. On the way to church the car was acting up more. I was able to get to church ok. I was so excited about the praise team. I felt so honored to be part of leading worship. I really felt like God was calling me back to music again. Worship was really awesome.
Todd spoke today out of Galatians 5:13-25. To live of the world was condemnation but to live the life of God we would be able to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. It really kinda went with the thoughts I had earlier this week. What if we quit everything we were doing and totally depended on God for every need. Every need, clothing, food, a place to sleep, spiritual and anything else God may seem fitting to provide us. To totally just live our lives as Christ did. Christ had no home to call his own. Christ depended totally on God to provide every need as Christ traveled to teach to everyone who would listen. Jesus performed miracles so that people could see the wondrous power God had. To live as Christ, how much simpler would our lives be? We would never want or need anything.
I don't know if we would have to go to that extreme. I believe God can use us right where we are. But to let him take control would mean forgetting everything we knew about control and taking care of things and leaving it all up to Christ. If we just let God take us where we needed to be how much farther do you think we would be in our lives with that kind of GPS system.
I know that sometimes my life seems out of control especially right now. The car blew up on the way home from church. It's embarrassing as Husband and Father is supposed to provide safety and security to my family, not be able to afford getting the car fixed. The hardest part for me is swallowing my pride as a man of the world. Through all of this there is that comfort that God will provide a way for us to get a second vehicle again. Remember what I said about the devil? He is really trying to kick me harder when I am down and disappointed in myself. I am resting on the reassurance that God has always provided a way in the past and He will provide a way again. I know that money is not the cure all. I know that God has to change my heart about money. I have been trying to not let money control my actions and what I do in life. I must say it is difficult to not let money control my life when it seems that others around me think that money controls our lives. Its difficult because everything they need or want is dependent on me. If they need something for a special event or something special at the store, I want the people around me to feel loved so I say yes and then face the consequences later. That's like a bad apple ruining the basket almost.
So through all of this, the hardest part for me is to say NO to those I love the most. I just want them to be thankful and happy for what they have and not want everything that they don't have. Todd mentioned that sometimes we go through life sacrificing everything for moments of happiness. Why can't we just learn to sacrifice everything for a lifetime of JOY. Moments of happiness are just few and far between. They don't last long and we are always looking for the next big or new thing. I know in my life there are alot of things that I want that would satisfy me temporarily, but I have realized that if I am not content with what I have, then why would I waste my energy on something else that won't bring Joy either.
JOY is only found in the peace of God and his arms. JOY comes from letting God be God and not a fall back solution. JOY comes from letting go and letting God take care of us. JOY comes from letting GOD be our GPS in life.
I am crying out to God right now to let Him be in control.
I can't live like this anymore and I am not able to do this without Him.
So GOD I know you have been tearing at my heart alot recently about letting go. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Todd today said we needed to Die to Live again. So God I want my old self to Die and for you to bring Life back to me and be my GPS.
Thank you for Being the God of Everything!

In God's Love
Richard