Lost

Do you ever feel lost? Lost in the world or in life in general? I know I do sometimes. More so this past weekend.
This weekend, actually this past week, I have felt lost and just gloomy. I am not sure why. For several weeks before this, I felt on top of the world, ok maybe not that great but really good about life in general. There is not any one thing that is really bringing me down this week. I have not been able to really find the cause of it yet. I am hoping I do find it soon though. It has been very difficult to focus on God, Family, Church, finances, and daily routines. I think part of it has to do with my frustration with myself.
The frustration I have with myself, I seem to find myself dealing with on a regular basis. What frustration you might ask. Well let me see…
• Being overweight
•Smoking
•Finances
•Relationship with God
•Relationship with my wife
•Relationship with my son
•Relationships with the rest of my family
•Relationships with friends (or lack of friends)
•Impure thoughts
•Work
I think you get the drift. Basically everything in my life I am questioning myself about. Am I good enough? Why do I continue to struggle with so much sin? Why can’t I get close enough to God. Why does my relationships seem to be slipping away. Why can’t I feel love?
Good Grief, I am praying God will just let me get a grip on things. Or get a grip on me. Everything that is said or done, I analyze it and think the worst or add negativety to it. Oh my what a vicous circle I am in. I just feel like quitting everything sometimes. Not my life though, I still wanna live. Although if i quit everything there isn’t much to my life, is there?
I pray God will just slap this funk out of me or at least show me where my funk is coming from. I hate feeling like this. I just feel worthless and lost. It makes my head spin.
OK so I always wanted to share what is going on in my life and I think I will take this blog and put it under a different category. I don’t think this one counts as “Learning Daily”. Its more like “Daily Processing”. That doesn’t sound overly depressing and shows some optimism.
Well I think that is enough self wallowing for now.
I hope you don’t think less of me now, but pray for me.
Thanks for reading.
In Christ’s Love
WLBC-Webmaster
Processing